Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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