They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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