Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
