We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
