I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
