Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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