p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
