He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize