I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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