oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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