i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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