She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
