Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize