There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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