so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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