Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
