It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
