fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
