There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
