I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
