Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
