The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
