You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
