Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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