U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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