Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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