rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
