I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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