So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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