Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Randomize
