you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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