Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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