'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
