Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Send help, water and tortillas.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
