drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
