sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
