my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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