i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
