I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize