You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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