I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
