Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want to be your penis for a week.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
