sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
