Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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