Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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