At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
