38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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