Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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