he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
