you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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