google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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