Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
