What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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