he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
