dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
