His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
