Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
