I want to have your abortion
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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