Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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