i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
