We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
