It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
