god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
