I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
