we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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