Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
