So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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