dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
