i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize