There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
