He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
