..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we're so committed to being not committed
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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