am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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