What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
