Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dear god my vagina.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
